What you said, “Refusing to lie, for example, about my own feelings of vulnerability, in all their beautiful, unguarded, dripping color; about my feelings about sex, which have never been simple; about bad behavior I've put up with, even though I was an adult at the time; about how much money I have, and how I got it; and finally, about things I have done that hurt others, and were wrong — refusing to lie about these things makes me feel, in a certain way, that evil has no power over me. “
It’s so brilliant and reminds me of how I felt (in my early 20s) about Doris Lessing. She was the first writer I ever read who actually did that - who wanted to tell the truth about her experiences, shameful or revealing. I was/am moved by that
Some pieces of our lives are private - yes. And in a world (not to mention your own life experience) where privacy is constantly broken, these moments do feel sacred.
Excellent piece, Donna! Since I’m pretty new at memoir writing, I’m experiencing how liberating it can be to spill some secrets. But it can be tricky to find where the parameters are.
(I have to confess, I really want to read “My Gynecologist Found a Ball of Cat Hair in My Vagina”!)
Love this! Nicely written. Resonates with me on some levels. I struggle with knowing what to expose and what not to. When I am uncertain I read to H who is a good barometer on that score.
What you said, “Refusing to lie, for example, about my own feelings of vulnerability, in all their beautiful, unguarded, dripping color; about my feelings about sex, which have never been simple; about bad behavior I've put up with, even though I was an adult at the time; about how much money I have, and how I got it; and finally, about things I have done that hurt others, and were wrong — refusing to lie about these things makes me feel, in a certain way, that evil has no power over me. “
It’s so brilliant and reminds me of how I felt (in my early 20s) about Doris Lessing. She was the first writer I ever read who actually did that - who wanted to tell the truth about her experiences, shameful or revealing. I was/am moved by that
OMG! As someone who is wrapping up his own (eccentric) memoir, this is very moving and inspiring. I think I now have revisions to maske.
Some pieces of our lives are private - yes. And in a world (not to mention your own life experience) where privacy is constantly broken, these moments do feel sacred.
Excellent piece, Donna! Since I’m pretty new at memoir writing, I’m experiencing how liberating it can be to spill some secrets. But it can be tricky to find where the parameters are.
(I have to confess, I really want to read “My Gynecologist Found a Ball of Cat Hair in My Vagina”!)
i grew up in shame. i am writing a memoir to expose the truths that were hidden by shame. even so, i hide.
Love this! Nicely written. Resonates with me on some levels. I struggle with knowing what to expose and what not to. When I am uncertain I read to H who is a good barometer on that score.